Written Wednesday, October 9th:

It’s deadlift day. That means I’m slightly angrier than usually. I don’t know anything today but how I’m going to pick up that bar. I love it. The anxiety at first “How is the bar going to feel today? Did I eat enough? Am I too sore from stairs? Am I going to be able to pull efficently? Am I going to pass out right now? Shit. Calm down. Stop. Music. Yeah, listen to the music.”

I’ve been feeling fantastic. I PRed my shoulder workout last night. I was doing 40#s and 45#s for 10 reps. But this week, I did 40#s 15 times and 45#s, 12 times. It felt wonderful. My shoulders felt happy.

My diet has been on par, I’m drinking tons of water, and introducing some supplements into my diet. Sunday was a rough day however – not because I lifted badly. But because I didn’t PR. Sounds weird, I’m a complainer, I was spoiled with previous weeks, but hey, I always want more. Two weeks ago, I did 200# squat for 12 reps. It felt good, I was tired and broke it up in halves, but I did it. This week, I struggled a bit with 185#. It sucks when you don’t PR. But I should never go in expecting to do anything. And I need to keep that humbleness I’ve had in the past. I get a little excited and want to do better, and sometimes I put stupid pressure on myself. So while I was a little disappointed, I finished the workout. I even had a guy come up to me and compliment me on my “guns”. That was cool.

So, Sunday was legs, Monday was a very late shoulder workout, Tuesday was intervals with rock climbing, stairs and barefoot running, and today is the best day of the week: deadlifts. I’m not going to lie, the way my upper body looks when I complete the pull, is awesome. My traps, delts, triceps, everything is popping out and I look like a mini-best. It makes me happy, warms my soul – and I totally look forward to feeling that weight every week. Last week I pulled 205 for 10 reps. That was awesome. This week, I want to focus on really tightening my glutes and locking out better. I want to be STRONG DAMNIT.

Written Thursday, October 10th: Last night I was a little pissed off, so I had to rely on my music to get me positively aggravated..if there is such a thing. Sometimes I miss Planet Fitness. It was dead on everyday but Mondays. Best Fitness is pretty crowded at the time we go, but we managed to find a squat rack to steal for deadlifts. This bitch pulled pretty well. I wanted to destroy my back and I did so, including my palms – ripping about three of my calluses. See, they don’t allow chalk there either – disappointing, but I get it – people are assholes when using it.

I pulled: 135# x 12, 185# x 12, 195# x 12, 215 x 7 with straps, 215 x 2 without straps – no belt.

I sat there wondering at 195# if I should play it safe and move to 205, work on getting my form perfect. Then the stubborn asshole inside me whispered “you’ll never get better if you don’t push yourself” Well, I did. I loaded the bar with the help of my brother to 215, pulled once, thrust my goddamn hips and up came the weight. I then ripped my calluses and grabbed the straps for the last 6 reps. I took a break and after my brothers set, pulled two more times without the straps. I’m SO excited for strength week. I KNOW I can pull more. I need to do more glute work and heavy rows, but I’m going to get 275# by the end of the year. I swear I fucking will.

So, besides that, we did some t-bar rows, mostly higher reps, then I did a triple set of single arm-cable pulls, seated CG pulls to chest and then CG lat pulls. And this girl was beat.

Today is the dreaded rest day. And I fucking need it. I’m exhausted. The week beats me up – especially now that the 4:30am mornings are colder. Corey and I have good intentions on getting up pretty early, but we manage to convince ourselves, 10 minutes of extra sleep with somehow help us, nope, it makes things worse. This morning was the prime example. We were suppose to be up at 4:15am, but instead he grumpily reset his alarm, I rolled over, latched onto his back and fell back asleep for a measly 9 minutes.

The rest of the week is somewhat hectic and busy. Friday is outdoor speed work, then cleaning our gross apartment and maybe even food shopping a bit. Saturday is an early oil change, taking my dog on a play date, dry cleaners, laundry, some car pushing, and hopefully a nap in there somewhere. Sunday is an early leg day then off to see two friends get married!! CONGRATS CHRIS AND ASHLEY!!

More updates later because I have some new info on diet changes, progress, etc to share!!

KICKASS EVERYONE!!

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