Some say muscle on women look disgusting…but I think if it stays in a certain balance, it’s beautiful and empowering. I can never explain what it feels like to be strong and full of energy. It’s almost like a foundation for everything in my life: it cements the fact that I am a strong woman – something I wasn’t for so long in my life growing up.

A little motivation:

I use to get told that looking like that was either impossible, gross, unhealthy, useless, etc. It’s funny because I’ve gone through so many transitions and had so many ideas on what my goal would be. But I’ve slowly realized that when it really comes down to it, I just want to be stronger, faster, agile, flexible, lean. I want to be able to run, jump, crawl, climb, swim, bike, row, etc. I never want to narrow my possibilites or say no to opportunities.

I’ve ride myself of the people that try to persuade me otherwise. I don’t like them. I know what I’m doing, I know how to do it, and I don’t need the negativity, the doubt or insecurities of other people discouraging me to follow my own path. If I love what I’m doing, it’s not useless or pointless or gross. It’s fierce and brave. It goes beyond just looking great naked, its a natural high – an addiction.

Theres been so many points in my journey that I believe I hit a wall, but I talk myself in to keep going, to keep pace, to stay steady and focused…and in those moments a certain out of body experience happens. I can’t quiet describe it if you’ve never felt it. It’s knowing your limits and believing in them, and then shattering them. It’s sacrificing going out drinking, and partying because you want to go to the next level. It’s pushing and pulling so hard, you have to sit in a bath tub of ice just to feel your own joints and muscles again. It’s knowing how hard it will be, how much blood, sweat and tears will be needed and not being afraid, but accepting. It’s divine. It’s sublime. It’s an experience that almost brings me to tears. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does it lives inside you, pushing and motivating and giving. It lasts you a lifetime, giving you the opportunity to look back at it and say “I did that. Me. No one else. Just me, myself and I.”

And once you achieve that feeling, you keep coming back for more.


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